Tuesday 25 March 2014

“Dinner is ready on the table” says Mommy waiting for her husband and daughter to join her on the dining table. ‘I will take some time. You can start with the dinner’ was the only reply that she heard; as her daughter was busy chatting with friends while her husband was busy preparing the office presentation.

This is a normal sight in most urban homes. In today’s fast paced and technologically driven world, conversation at family dinners resemble instant messages where family members drop in a message that they are busy with their friends or in a business meeting.

Smart phones, laptops, ipads and other technological gadgets seem to be taking over our pockets and our precious time. New gadgets and devices have been designed to bring the world closer but the irony is that it creates distances in close relationship.

Modern technology provides us with bunch of brilliant tools that have improved many areas of our lives, but they have a negative effect if not used wisely. Let’s understand how technology can have a negative effect on our relationship.


This digital age promises 24 x 7 connectivity; hence the line between personal time and work has become blurred. Though you may leave office physically but you have easy access to your pending work, so you do not actually leave your work space as it is always on your mind. You are tempted to work even when you are at home and are not able to spend quality time the family.
It has been frequently observed that even when two individuals are physically present at a swanky restaurant or at home, but are not together as they are engrossed in checking their mail, text message or are just keeping their face book status updated. Lack of verbal communication also creates a distances in relationship.
Smart phones, cheap net books and ubiquitous wi fi connection has made access to the social networking sites easier. Social networking sites are great place to unite with old friends and colleagues. On the other hand, it has become easier for an old flame to track down his lost love and rekindle the feelings that were otherwise dormant. Such a behavior can spoil a fully bloomed relationship.
Well known Psychologist, Pavan Sonar says “Being plugged all the time can cause relationship problems. At times the only method of communication between two individuals is not verbal but text messaging or email. Lack of verbal communication and excess use of gadgets can lead to jealousy, suspicion, and argument within the couple and can also become a cause for separation.”

How can an individual make the most of technology without losing out on their relationship?

Set a limit
When you are at home it is time to turn off the gadgets as they can diminish the boundaries of personal space. Although it may be tempting to pick up the remote or check the text message while your partner is trying to talk to you. Hold on to your temptation. Schedule a cut off time for gadgets where all the family members put off their gadget and spend quality time together. Though it may initially seem difficult but it will definitely help you connect with all the members.

Dr Sonar adds, “Technology can be used for work and fun but cannot replace direct communication. To nurture good relationship, they need to be fed with attention and time.”

Make positive use of technology.
Make use of technology to nurture relationships and stay in touch. A few text messages throughout the day helps to keep in touch and increases the bonding. For instance, if you are feeling guilty about the last night’s argument with your partner, or just want to share your happiness for his support, send an e card or a sweet text message to your partner. A simple ‘Thank You’ or ‘Sorry’ message can work wonders in a relationship.

Let’s face it, technology is here to stay, but unless you learn to outsmart your every day gadget, you may lose out on your personal relationship.

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